The Heart of Life
Inspired by John Mayer, as I listen to it on repeat and write this blog
Happy 2023!!! It’s been a while since I’ve last published on here. And that’s because I’ve been lost in my thoughts, life, and journey towards self rediscovery. All this to say — I’ve been re-evaluating my core values and what I truly care about in life.
I didn’t have a near death experience or anything. But as I sat one day to think…
What is it that we really strive for in life?
I’ve re-read books and listened to podcasts to try to understand (aside from listening to music obviously—hence the John Mayer lol). Throughout this time, I’ve learned a few things that I personally want to highlight:
We all just want to be seen, heard, and understood. WHY IS IT SO HARD?
Your loved ones would rather see you happy than see you sad and crying lol
Being vulnerable is so fucken hard
It’s okay to ask for help
Everyone is trying their best. Note: concept of ‘best’ is defined by that person. Def make sure that it aligns with your values —whatever that means
December 2022 — Vulnerable Sharing Moment:
I love having dinner at the family table. While Texas has been good to me, it’s been difficult adjusting to the environment even though I’ve been here for 1.5 yrs. It’s been hard making genuine connections (except for Nora & Kassy — so glad our paths crossed). But going back to the dinner table story. Recently, one night in LA with family, I was talking about my life in Dallas. And I openly admitted and cried in front of my entire family about how alone I felt despite being seen as successful/positive/loving person. I think what opened my eyes the most is seeing my parents’ reaction as I was crying and saw how hopeless they felt that they couldn’t do anything about it. Because I was no longer the little girl they can help/protect, and now I had to find my way around this world on my own. Why am I sharing this? Well at that moment, I realized how loved I was for admitting how I was feeling. It had been a longggggg time since I had cried in front of my parents, and that’s partially because I’ve always felt the need to be strong. But along the way, I realized crying in front of them was a sign of strength.
Parents’ Story — A Continuation to The Dinner Table Story:
As I was sharing how I felt, my father told me about how he felt coming to America for the first time. And that’s when I realized that my parents must have gone through hella a lot more than me. I’m over here complaining/crying about how alone I felt in a different city (not trying to invalidate my own feelings here), but SHIT I completely forgot about how they must have felt coming to this new country. They came to the U.S. with no money, Spanish as their first language, and trying to find ways to support their family back in Guatemala. FROM SCRATCH. When my father retold his story about coming to this country, it reminded me about my roots.
Re-listening to my parents’ story reminded me about how far our family linage has come. And thinking about my ancestors, I know they would be proud of who I am today. And I have no doubt that whoever reads this, also has someone rooting for them (including myself). There must have been a reason why you kept reading up until now.
So I’ll leave you with the question that I had initially asked myself…
What is it that YOU really strive for in life?
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Sending you lots of love and light for the new year!
P.S. I know no one is obligating me to be anywhere, but it’s also my journey to figure this out. — Much love, Gaby